Gedanken eines einsamen grauen Sonntagnachmittag (thoughts form a lonly grey sunday afternoon)

thoughts from lonly saturday afternoon

 how whould life be
 as it was before?
 whould it wrap arms around
 without even thinking about it
 when i saw you standing there at the corner
 should I have only looked at you?
 I will never know, what might have been, if i would tried
 i will never know, what might have been, if I'd just stayed that day

 so far from now where I am
 and so close what it once meant for and me
 ... - for us

 maybe i should dance 'tough it
 but i can't
 just to see you once again
 just once again on my stony binding path
 I whould do it, I'd stay and I'd dance
 but there is no way back
 no look back not in anger not with passion not with joy

 you will never sit by my side - whispering in my ear
 I will miss this at all
 and when you could feel how much i wish for it
 this thought tears me into peaces
 brings me down to hell
 into the darkness of myself

 I see myself
 standing here
 looking down this avenue of my future
 wet eyes, trembling, feeling cold
 empty, lonly, fighting with myself

 i wish i could see any good
 imagine you running into my arms
 hug me and all were good
 but this is a far beyond image from past

 Always remembering you running through my hair
 confusing my mind in a good way
 remembering the moments, when we were so close
 when the world just stood still
 just for us

 Oh how I wished for you to look at my, knowing me,

 i know I have waited to long
 but for what
 one word? just one word!
 it would have changed it all

 maybe it would? maybe not?
 we will never know and never see
 life goes on in diffrent ways

 I know I am right
 i was wanting to say to you all this
 there's nothing more to say

 might see you there
 on my path once again

 Wherever you may be - I am right here

(its an older poem but i wanted to publish it here)